Confession

I have a confession to make. I thought about starting this blog long before I wrote the first entry. I didn’t know if anyone would be interested in what I posted or how I felt about sharing parts of my life with the internet community. But what stopped me most from starting this blog was the idea of writing about racing.

As much as I love to race, and I do love it, I also have quite a bit of anxiety when it comes to toeing the line. Most of that anxiety stems from expectations that I place on myself about how I think I “should” perform. I am not weary of discussing training, in fact I love analyzing workouts, but when it comes to racing I am typically cagey about discussing my plans. My preference is to remain pretty quiet about what I think I am capable of. This cagey-ness used to be my shield from avoiding disappointment. But it also meant I could avoid being accountable. It meant that if I let up a little when tired on the run or if I cruised the bike that no one would know I didn’t give it everything I had. This is not something I am proud to admit but it is the truth.

I learned this past weekend that the fear of sharing my race experiences with you is far outweighed by the support and inspiration that comes with writing about them here. It may sound sappy but I was truly lifted during Sunday’s race from all of the messages and tweets. Not to mention how incredibly proud I was to represent SMASHFEST Queen both on and off the course throughout the weekend. If this is just the beginning of what is to come this year I can’t wait to see what happens.

I realize this does not get me off the hook for an actual race report. The weekend as a whole was wonderful and I want to give it a full post. For now, it was a great start to the season. 3rd AG, 8th amateur and a 5 minute PR from last year, details to come tomorrow!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Confession

  1. I can totally relate to this post. Since I have yet to finish writing my 2012 race reports, you are off the hook for writing this weekend’s for a few days. šŸ˜‰
    Sometimes, these things just need a little marinating in our soul…share when you feel ready.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s